by Ghani Kunto
“Yeah, she’s a model,” I used to nonchalantly say to my friends. The offhand remark was, of course, not offhand at all. Whenever I was dating a model, I’d tell all my friends about it in (sometimes less-than-) subtle ways. I wasn’t aiming to make them jealous. It’s just … you kind of have to brag about these things, right?
It’s kind of like that story:
A man goes into a confession booth and tells the priest, “Father, I’m seventy-five years old and last night I made love to two twenty-year-old girls—at the same time.”
The priest says, “When did you last go to confession?”
The man says, “I’ve never been to confession, Father. I’m Jewish.”
The priest says, “Then why are you telling me?”
The man says, “I’m telling everybody!”
With one exception, I had never dated a model for very long. Some of the stereotypes about them are unfortunately true, and most of the time, I’d end up running out of things we could talk about (“Talk? You’re dating a model and talk is what you want to do with her?!?”). Conversation wise, I find most of them are too filled with clichés.
“I used to be a fat kid.”
“I wish people would stop judging me just by my looks.”
“Oh, I’m not that strict with my diet. I just don’t eat red meat or pork. I don’t eat very much chicken either. And no carbohydrates at all.”
“I feel like a bird, trapped in a golden cage.”
They’d say those things so genuinely. These lines usually come out early in the rapport building phase too, which made me think: are they living in a different reality than I am?
Of course, we’re all living in our own realities, aren’t we?
What’s interesting is that while realities are supposedly relative to each person’s phenomenological field, it seems that the models’ realities share some unique commonalities. One in particular, is the Burden of Beauty phenomenon.
I don’t know if I can describe this phenomenon in the details it deserves. The best way to describe it is that it’s the sexy-women’s version of the White Man’s Guilt.
And I can’t help wonder why they need to carry such burdens. If you’re beautiful, then just be grateful for your beauty. Use your gift to the max, because that’s the best way to be thankful.
You don’t have to make excuses for being extraordinary. We’re all extraordinary in our own ways. Let go of that burden, and let your inner essence lift you up.
We’ll love you more for it.